I COULD KICK HIS ASS!! - a Cranky re-run

I COULD KICK HIS ASS!!

A Cranky Monday re-run
One of my favorites from August 2011...enjoy

The other day my wife introduced me to one of her friend’s husbands. Nice guy, twenty years younger than me, in good shape, my size maybe bigger, happily married and no threat to me in any way; and yet as I was shaking his hand what thought was going through my head? I COULD KICK HIS ASS! It dawned on me how ridiculous was this thought.

I am not a violent person. I have been in two fights in my life, and both of them were when I was in the 6^th grade, and yet I realized my first thought when I meet a new person of my gender is whether or not I could beat him in a fight. Do all men do that? Why do we do that? Why do I almost always think that I would win a fight even though at my age I pull a muscle if I get out of bed too fast?

There must be something deep down in our DNA which automatically seeks to defend our women or property from an intruder. Something which forces us to size up a potential aggressor and determine that if push comes to shove we need to run or I COULD KICK HIS ASS!

Most of the questions we ask someone we just meet are all part of the sizing up process.

“What do you do?” “Who do you like this year in the NFL?” “Did you play ball in school?” “Do you work out?” “How much can you bench?”

Why does a non-violent person such as myself, someone who would walk away rather than wail away, still feel the need to size up every male’s ability to win or lose in a fight?

Do women have a similar response when introduced to new members of their gender? What is the female version of I COULD KICK HIS ASS?

Come on ladies, fess up. Is your first reaction “I could win her man?” Do you size up your looks against this interloper? Do you think “I could outsmart her?” What questions do you first ask someone?

“Are you married?” “Do you have children?” “What kind of work do you do?” “Where did you go to school?” “Where do you live?” “Is that your car out front?”

Does everyone try to size up new acquaintances before they decide to be friendly or not?

Maybe it’s just me.

So what!

I COULD KICK YOUR ASS!!